Prank Wars : In which the Reader and Clint piss off Tony and Thor
by Heartysunny
Summary: It was a snowy day. It wasn't Christmas quite yet, but the weather had a mind of its own. The gray sky seemed dreary, and the streets were just as busy as ever, if not more. All in all, it seemed like a regular day for the city of New York. However, it was not so in the Avengers Tower.


It was a snowy day. It wasn't Christmas quite yet, but the weather had a mind of its own. The gray sky seemed dreary, and the streets were just as busy as ever, if not more. All in all, it seemed like a regular day for the city of New York.

However, it was not so in the Avengers Tower. You snuck along the wall, inching toward the corner leading into the living room. Bruce was intently studying a thick leather bound book on the L-shaped couch. Probably an ancient relaxation technique or new scientific theory. Placing a hand over your earpiece, you whispered, "Hey, Birdbrain, how're things up above?"

"I thought we discussed this. I am the Hawk. Not the Birdbrain."

A giggle escaped your lips. He was so easy to rile. "Alright then, you'll be Mr. Birdbrain. The Hawk is too obvious. Where are my targets?"

A sulking silence stayed in your ears for a moment before Clint responded, "Pikachu is on the prowl and Tin Can is doing some sort of scan through the building for us."

"Thank goodness I know the override codes for JARVIS." You and Clint were at war with Thor and Tony. In the spirit of fun, Clint had eaten a few of the pop tarts hidden in the kitchen and you may or may not have programmed the Iron Man suits to do the Macarena when activated. Your knowledge of the technological arts was extremely advanced, and even rivaled Tony's skills. In fact, SHIELD had picked you up after you had graduated high school with enough college credits to equal a Phd in computer science.

After your pranks had backfired on you two, Clint fled to the vent system as a lookout for you, who remained on the main floor. You stayed on the main floor because you were able to protect and hide yourself. Your superpower was invisibility. It came in handy when on stealth missions.

Soon, crouching on the wall became tiresome. "Is Pikachu in the general vicinity?"

"Nope," Clint drawled, popping the 'p'. "You're clear to go, Crystal. Get what I did there? 'Clear?'"

"Yes. Your humor skills are unparalleled, Mr. Birdbrain." You closed my eyes and concentrated. Your body and super suit shimmered before blending into the carpet and wall.

"Woah. That'll never get old, Crystal." You rolled your eyes, even though nobody could see it. Carefully standing, you snuck down through the living room, past Bruce, to the opening of the kitchen door.

"HATH THOU SEEN THE LADY OF INVISIBILITY OR THE MAN OF HAWKS, LADY NATASHA?" Well, there goes Mr. Birdbrain's reliability.

Natasha walked into the kitchen in her pajamas – a tank and fuzzy pants – with Thor trailing behind her. He seemed to be interrogating everyone he saw for your whereabouts, with no success. Surprisingly though, Bruce was still intently reading. Thor's voice was like a foghorn.

"Thor. It is too early in the morning for this. How would I know where she is anyway? She's probably invisible. Leave me be–" Her eyes landed on the ruffling pages of the cookbook you just passed.

Shoot. She knows you're in here. Nat's extensive study of Avengers Tower included the very advertised fact that there were no drafts. Like, at all. You hope she'll hold your cover for the sake of pranksters everywhere.

She did a once-over of the room before throwing a discrete smile in your direction that only you and Hawkeye would recognize. "Well, big guy. They don't seem to be in here, and I didn't see them on my way here. Why don't you go see if they're on the roof or something. You know how Hawkeye loves high places, don't you?" Her already vibrant red lips drew into a pout, and her fingers ran down the front of his armor.

Thor's face flushed slightly, before dismissing himself. "I-I must go check the roof now. Thank you for your assistance, Lady Natasha!" He walked quickly to the door, after tripping over his long red cape.

"No problem, Thor," she called after him, her lips curved in a smile. "Anytime."

She turned after Thor was down the hallway and into the elevator. "Hmm. I think I'll have some strawberry yogurt with granola... some bacon... and some chocolate chip waffles." Natasha paused between each option, grabbing it from the extensive pantry. Didn't Nat say once that she would never be caught dead eating baco– oh. The sneaky little devil was sending you a low key message. She was grabbing yours and Mr. Birdbrain's favorite breakfasts.

But where were you to meet? Wasn't everywhere in the tower under surveillance? "I think I'll eat breakfast in bed today..." She muttered this loud enough so that you could hear her. Purposefully.

A moment passed. Well, duh. How did you forget that the last person in your trio had the only room in the entire Avengers Tower without any cameras? Natasha had seduced Tony into such an odd choice through her feminine finesse. Sadly, you lacked such skills. Nat was trying to give you tips though.

She started walking toward the stairwell after unplugging and bringing the toaster. You tiptoed after her, careful to step when she stepped to not raise suspicion. Bruce glanced up at Natasha, blushing slightly. Nat winked and carried on. _Good job_ , you thought. _Keep everyone distracted, even the bashful Doctor Banner._

The elevator may have been high-tech and therefore easy for you to hack, but the all three of you preferred the stairwell – you were less likely to be cornered and trapped. You two traveled up a couple floors before entering your floor. Although Nat's room was safe, you didn't trust Tony enough to shift to your regular form yet. The TV in the common room was blaring news feed. The annoying mustached news reporter from the Daily Bugle was preaching about the 'spider menace' again.

Nat opened her door and left it open long enough for me to slip in, but not awkwardly enough that people watching would think it was out of the ordinary. She closed the door and promptly turned to plug in the toaster near a vent opening. She popped in two waffles and set it to cook as you became visible again. "So, what did you two do this time?"


End file.
